...and didn’t reach any of them! It isn’t that I didn’t try. It isn’t that I made no progress at all. And it isn’t that I had no accomplishments this year. But the truth is that of the nine goals I had, I didn’t accomplish one. Should I have fewer goals this year? Should I call them intentions instead of goals? Should I freewheel this year and not have any overarching goals? I’ve always told my clients that there is no such thing as failure - only a change in plans. I guess I had a lot of changes in plans this past year.
I’m reading a new book called Conscious Creativity by Philippa Stanton and will be publishing my review later this week. This morning I read something she wrote about failure.
“It’s also very hard not to allow recent disappointments to affect our insecurities, and to use past disappointments to numb ambition and stifle success. Inspirational ‘failures’ like Bill Gates, J.K. Rowling, Steve Jobs or Walt Disney are classic examples of the universal feeling that failure is not final, it is just process. You don’t watch a football match to see every pass end in a fantastic goal. You watch it to see the struggle, the working out, the skill and the emotional failures that then lead to great successes. Whatever point you are at in your life, you have arrived there through a combination of successes and failures, so you should nurture your bravery and enthusiasm and try to accommodate your fears.”
This is something for me to ponder over the next few days as I continue my 2019 planning. Right now, though, I am setting all of this aside.
Our household is still recovering from our colds, so Christmas is a bit subdued around here. We’re both glad we hadn’t made plans that included other people. When I look at the various messes in the world at large, I’m incredibly grateful for my life, my safety, and my opportunities that others are literally giving their lives to have....a sobering Christmas Eve thought.
Monday, December 24, 2018
Friday, December 21, 2018
Drats - a cold found me and walked on in!
Two weeks ago, Rhonda and I did some traveling to California and Arizona to visit family. When we came home, I was so happy that neither of us were any the worse for wear, as they say. Sometimes after traveling, one or both of us get colds despite using our best physical and metaphysical techniques. Generally we’re pretty hardy and bypass colds.
Earlier this week, Rhonda came down with a cold. Our sister-in-law had made a special Doterra oil mixture that is meant to keep a cold at bay. I started using it right away. I took care of Rhonda until a few days later when I also came down with the cold. Before I became involved in metaphysics, I was very compassionate with myself when I got a cold. After metaphysics, I get into the blame game with myself.
Who am I angry with? What am I depressed about? What’s wrong with me that I got a cold when many around me don’t. Blah, blah, blah. What I’ve learned over the years is that a cold is a wonderful opportunity to release attitudes that no longer serve me. It’s also a great time to show myself compassion, rest, and take some time off from my usual work schedule. With today being Winter Solstice, it’s a great day to welcome the light and the sun into my life.
Yesterday, the Ananda meditation group I steward (along with others) had our first Christmas gathering. We were going to chant, meditate, discuss spiritual principles, and then have some social time. I was really looking forward to it. I didn’t go. It wasn’t fair to expose others to my cold nor was it fair to myself to try to go out when I felt so lousy. I stayed home.
Rhonda still has her cold but is starting to feel better. The main word around here today is nurturing. How can we nurture ourselves, show compassion, and allow ourselves to heal?
Earlier this week, Rhonda came down with a cold. Our sister-in-law had made a special Doterra oil mixture that is meant to keep a cold at bay. I started using it right away. I took care of Rhonda until a few days later when I also came down with the cold. Before I became involved in metaphysics, I was very compassionate with myself when I got a cold. After metaphysics, I get into the blame game with myself.
Who am I angry with? What am I depressed about? What’s wrong with me that I got a cold when many around me don’t. Blah, blah, blah. What I’ve learned over the years is that a cold is a wonderful opportunity to release attitudes that no longer serve me. It’s also a great time to show myself compassion, rest, and take some time off from my usual work schedule. With today being Winter Solstice, it’s a great day to welcome the light and the sun into my life.
Yesterday, the Ananda meditation group I steward (along with others) had our first Christmas gathering. We were going to chant, meditate, discuss spiritual principles, and then have some social time. I was really looking forward to it. I didn’t go. It wasn’t fair to expose others to my cold nor was it fair to myself to try to go out when I felt so lousy. I stayed home.
Rhonda still has her cold but is starting to feel better. The main word around here today is nurturing. How can we nurture ourselves, show compassion, and allow ourselves to heal?
Saturday, December 15, 2018
I just finished reading.....
...a novel by a first-time author. The book is Girls Burn Brighter by Shobhna Rao. Rhonda had read the book and recommended it to me as a book she thought I would enjoy reading. Because it is so popular, I had to put a hold on the digital copy of the book at the library. Once I had the book and started reading it, I had to keep reading.
These are some of the things I said to Rhonda as I read the book. “This is a painful book to read. I think I would rather read about a serial killer who cuts his victims into pieces than this book where women are treated so badly.”
“This book better have a good ending or you are in so much trouble.”
“I hate reading this book but have to keep going because I have to find out what happens.”
When a fiction book brings up so many feelings for me, I know it’s a good book. Would I recommend Girls Burn Brighter to you? I honestly don’t know. The writing is amazing. The story line is compelling and it’s difficult to put the book down once you start reading. It’s also a book that is painful and makes you angry because some of what’s in the book is taken from real life.
The characters in the book are staying with me. I care about them. I want their lives to bring them joy. From that perspective, I would recommend the book.
I think I’m also a tad jealous. I still haven’t written my novel. When I read one this well-written, I feel intimidated, wondering if I even have a novel in me? Maybe I haven’t written a novel because it isn’t meant to be written! Maybe I’m better off staying with non-fiction. At least that way my books won’t make people angry!
These are some of the things I said to Rhonda as I read the book. “This is a painful book to read. I think I would rather read about a serial killer who cuts his victims into pieces than this book where women are treated so badly.”
“This book better have a good ending or you are in so much trouble.”
“I hate reading this book but have to keep going because I have to find out what happens.”
When a fiction book brings up so many feelings for me, I know it’s a good book. Would I recommend Girls Burn Brighter to you? I honestly don’t know. The writing is amazing. The story line is compelling and it’s difficult to put the book down once you start reading. It’s also a book that is painful and makes you angry because some of what’s in the book is taken from real life.
The characters in the book are staying with me. I care about them. I want their lives to bring them joy. From that perspective, I would recommend the book.
I think I’m also a tad jealous. I still haven’t written my novel. When I read one this well-written, I feel intimidated, wondering if I even have a novel in me? Maybe I haven’t written a novel because it isn’t meant to be written! Maybe I’m better off staying with non-fiction. At least that way my books won’t make people angry!
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Feeling invisible
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel invisible? I have, too. It feels really strange to be with people and have them ignore you or at least pay very little attention to you. I had this happen recently and had two reactions.
On the one hand, being invisible is great because there is no pressure to talk or engage in topics that really don’t hold much interest for you. On the other hand, it feels bad because you feel like you don’t matter. I wrestled with it a bit and then decided it’s also an opportunity to set my ego aside and just pay attention to other people and listen to them. For me, it was a chance to learn more about the people who were present and that was a nice benefit.
I’ve had this happened to me in church settings, too. People who know one another tend to gather and chat and visit. People new to the church are sought out by those who are assigned to be sure new folks are comfortable. People who just attend once in awhile are in some sort of middle category and are left to their own devices.
All of this shows me how important it is to be aware of who’s around you no matter what setting you’re in and reach out to those who seem to be ignored. We don’t have to intrude on one another’s privacy and sometimes people want to be left alone. But I think it’s important to acknowledge people and let them know they are important to you. Maybe you’ll make a new friend!
On the one hand, being invisible is great because there is no pressure to talk or engage in topics that really don’t hold much interest for you. On the other hand, it feels bad because you feel like you don’t matter. I wrestled with it a bit and then decided it’s also an opportunity to set my ego aside and just pay attention to other people and listen to them. For me, it was a chance to learn more about the people who were present and that was a nice benefit.
I’ve had this happened to me in church settings, too. People who know one another tend to gather and chat and visit. People new to the church are sought out by those who are assigned to be sure new folks are comfortable. People who just attend once in awhile are in some sort of middle category and are left to their own devices.
All of this shows me how important it is to be aware of who’s around you no matter what setting you’re in and reach out to those who seem to be ignored. We don’t have to intrude on one another’s privacy and sometimes people want to be left alone. But I think it’s important to acknowledge people and let them know they are important to you. Maybe you’ll make a new friend!
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