I caught myself romancing the past!

As I was making my morning cup of coffee (brand: Café Appassionato roasted in downtown Seattle - I enjoy it so much that I buy it through mail-order...), I found myself mulling about a challenging time in my life over thirty years ago.

Following an intuitive hunch, I had quit my job and moved to Seattle to start a monthly New Age newspaper called The New Times. I didn't know anyone, didn't have money or contacts to start a business, and did everything by the seat of my britches, following my intuition. It was incredibly difficult. I remember thinking to myself at the time, "Some day you're going to look back on this and realize it was one of the best times of your life." (I give details of this in my autobiography Anything is Possible.)

As time heals just about anything, our memories of the past eventually highlight the good things and the negative ones fade more and more into the background. That's when we romance the past! We forget how difficult it really was and sometimes we might even wish we were back there in time where we had felt so relevant, alive, and -yes- successful!

Once I caught myself doing this, I realized I could start romancing my new past - this era of time - right now. I don't have to wait for time to pass.  How will I view today when I look back five years from now? Ten years? Twenty? What positives will I ascribe to this era of my life? Why not go ahead and claim them as mine right now?

Years ago I learned the meditative technique where I got in touch with my future self and asked for advice for current challenges. Once I started doing that and enjoying the information I received, I began doing something else. I began giving messages to my younger selves, messages of encouragement and "You can do this; you will succeed; hang in there; it will all work out!"

Time folds in on itself. Time is a social construct and we don't have to be bound by it. What if  those messages I sent my younger self actually happened and were part of the reason I succeeded? What if I can now send messages to my current self from my future self, telling me what I learned and what I did to succeed with today's challenges?

Why not go ahead and romance the past that is happening right now? That's enough for my morning brain to digest. Time for that second cup of coffee.

But don't you teach positive thinking?

Someone asked me this the other day. She had asked me about my current health situation which, by the way, is getting better daily. I had explained what's going on and had expressed my frustration with the doctors who keep wanting to do more tests so they can reach a diagnosis they are comfortable with. In my view they have done enough tests, just decide on a treatment plan and move forward.

As I expressed my frustration, she commented, "But don't you teach postive thinking?" She was implying that I shouldn't be frustrated and I should just see a positive outcome and ignore my feelings. So, I replied, "You can approach your life in a positive manner without denying the reality of how you feel. It's important to express your feelings so you can have a positive outlook. In fact," I continued, "I think some people like myself who develop heart problems do so because we aren't always forthcoming about our feelings."

I could tell she didn't totally accept what I was saying and that's okay. Truthfully, I don't see myself as teaching "positive thinking." I see myself as a spiritual teacher and mentor who helps people live more fully on all levels of who they are: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. I help people live from a more integrated viewpoint and, yes, with a more positive attitude.

We are complex beings - oh, that life were simpler - and it is important that we accept and integrate all levels of who we are. And sometimes that means feeling frustrated and expressing how we feel. This actually allows us to release and integrate our feelings so we can move forward into our daily lives with greater clarity and purpose. This is much greater than positive thinking while also encompassing it!

Remember when I felt sorry for myself? Here's why.

When Rhonda and I go on vacation, we keep a low profile about it until we're back home. When I wrote the blog about feeling sorry for myself, here's why. I was in Maui and because of the very strong water pills I have to take twice a day, I was not able to go on the many trips and excursions everyone else did.

It was a stay-at-the-house sort of vacation. It was nice to get away, though, and I did catch up on some reading and did enjoy a few visits to some local spots. Here's a slide show Rhonda made of some of what she saw and experienced!

Maui Vacation

It was fun for me to see this, too! Hopefully on the next vacation I will be able to participate fully!

I can't-itis

How often have you started to do something only to hear the inner voice say, "You can't do that - you don't know how....." When I started my first newspaper The New Times, several people said this to me: "You can't do that. You don't know how. You don't know what you're doing." To which I replied, "I have never let that stop me before! Why start now?"

It is easy to listen to that voice, the one that says we don't have enough _____________ (fill in the blank) to do whatever it is we're inspired to do. Usually it is money, experience, friends, education, smarts, contacts - whatever! I call this I can't-itis. The cure? Do it anyway!

There was a day when you didn't know how to do the things you do today: walk, run, read, talk, pray, meditate, do yoga...if you let not knowing how to do something stop you, guess what? You'll never do anything! And what a waste of a life that would be!

A note to healers of all stripes.....

I'm going to ask you a favor not just for myself but for all folks you might interact with about the possibility of your being able to help them. Please don't tell people you can heal them through whatever it is you do. Not only do people heal themselves, but your particular gift may or may not be their pathway to healing. By holding out such hope, you only make the crash worse when you don't succeed - and then blame them!

For me with my mobility issues over the past several years, I have had a chiropractor, acupuncturist, and hands-on healer tell me they could heal my issue. They didn't and then claimed it was me, not them. LOL All three of them talked really big when they wanted me to let them work on me - oh, yes, "this is what I do," said the chiropractor. Same thing for the acupuncturist - "you will see results in three sessions" at $100 a session.

Anyway, just sharing this - if the shoe fits, put it on. If not, bless you! Healing can be such a complex matter and we don't always know what will or will not help someone. All we can do is offer our services, encourage the person to participate with their own energies, and then trust the process of life to carry things forward in the best possible way.

A side effect......

.....of the medications I'm taking is a general loss of appetite. For someone who has spent the majority of her life having to deny herself food because of having an abundantly-sized body, this is definitely strange. Last night I was at a restaurant and not only didn't anything on the menu appeal to me, after ordering an insignificant appetizer, I ate only about a third of it.

I'm not complaining. As I told a good friend of mine, "It is really easy to lose weight when you're not hungry." I guess that was the point of "diet pills" in the 70's - also known as amphetamines or speed! Mine don't have the effect of giving me energy - they just take the edge off my appetite.

The cardiologist said my heart issues don't have anything to do with my weight, but it is fun to have some weight loss as a side effect! It's also been fun to watch as the excess fluids in my body left - I lost 21 pounds in two weeks - I know it wasn't true weight but, again, for someone who has dealt with this issue her whole life it sure was fun to see weight loss on the scale daily!

Fortunately, I've mostly gotten to the point where I accept my natural body size and encourage others to do so. And for goodness sakes don't develop heart issues as a weight-loss strategy!

Is enlightenment using both sides of the brain - at the same time?

If you have walked the spiritual path any time at all, you will have heard about what is called practicing the Presence at all times, even when in the midst of daily activities. The well-loved Bhagavad Gita talks about this as does the Christian Bible. We're being told to go about our daily business while also staying focused on the Divine. Hmmm....sounds like using both sides of our brain at the same time.

As I was thinking about this, it dawned on me that artistic/creative pursuits require this dual focus. For instance, when I played the piano and learned a new piece, I had to use my left brain to read the music, learn the rhythm and notes, and memorize the piece so I could play it without needing to use the printed score. Ah...this is when it got interesting!

Once a piece was memorized and safely stored in my memory muscle, then the true playing began. This is when I could express myself spiritually and emotionally. This is when playing the piano became an extension of myself and I was able to communicate to others what I felt and what the music meant to me. To do this required using both sides of my brain at the same time.

Maybe this is the creative bliss we hear musicians and artists talking about - being in the zone. Maybe it isn't so difficult to practice the Presence and reach enlightenment after all. Maybe we make it too difficult on ourselves. Just some random thoughts to chew on. Me? I'm going to grab the ukulele and learn some new chords so someday I might be able to play with my right brain!

Sometimes it's okay to feel sorry for yourself

This is sort of a follow-up to the blog I wrote about patience and comparing ourselves to other people. When things don't go our way as quickly as we wish they would or when we see other people seeming to have or be more than we are, it's easy to feel sorry for ourselves. If only things were different somehow, we'd feel better. And I say, "not necessarily."

We can't know our reactions or responses to situations that haven't happened - sometimes we surprise ourselves by being a better or worse person than we thought we'd be. That's why everything that happens in our lives offers an opportunity for growth and understanding. We get the chance to see who we really are.

Although that might read like a call to nobility, it isn't. It's a call to allowing ourselves to be human and spiritual beings having both a human and spiritual experience. And sometimes the human experience just plain sucks. And sometimes the correct human response is to feel sorry for ourselves or to be sad that things are the way they are. Then the nobility and spirituality can kick in and we can move forward.

Yes, saints and other holy people can get there faster than I can and I can get there faster now that I could years ago. I remember something that happened with Paramhansa Yogananda and some of his devotees. He asked them to do something that was very difficult. One of the students said, "It's easy for YOU to do this but not for us - you're a Master." Yogananda raised his voice and responded, "And how do you think I became a Master?"

If you need to feel sorry for yourself, go ahead. Just set a time limit on it, learn whatever is there for you, and then move on. I'll bet even the saintliest among us does that sometimes!

Give me patience and give it to me right now!

Many things in this world move with their own timeframe and there is little to nothing we can do about it. Same thing with the people in our lives. Each of them has their own rhythm just like we do. I know you know this. I know this. So why do we keep being impatient, wanting the eggs to hatch today and not next week? The eggs are going to hatch when they hatch and not a second sooner.

This is similar to comparing ourselves to other people and their journeys. Each of us has our own life to lead and comparing our progress to that of our neighbor does not help in the least. In fact, when Jyotish and Devi  from Ananda were in Seattle last month they listed this as the number one thing that could keep a person from moving forward on their spiritual path. It's like taking a test: keep your eyes on your own paper, not on your neighbor's.

How are these two things accomplished? I have been very impatient lately. I have seen other people heal from their maladies faster than I am healing from mine. I have engaged in toe-tapping: when, oh when, will my "issues" be over? I don't know. The only thing I have figured out so far is to set my intentions on a daily basis to do what I need to do to move forward. Whether it is with my work, my health, or anything else, all I can do is set my daily intention and then follow-through as best I can. Maybe that is all any of us can do about anything!

Do you know your soul's purpose?

A review book I'm reading this week is "Discovering Your Soul's Purpose - Finding Your Path in Life, Work, and Personal Mission the Edgar Cayce Way" by Mark Thurston, PhD. You can read the review this coming Sunday at www.newspiritjournal.com - it is not my intention to review the book here.

I wanted to share some of the thoughts it brought up for me. Two different Vedic astrologers have told me that I will really begin my life's work this fall when my odometer rolls over to 70! If this is applied to my working life, I was and am left speechless since I have already had at least ten significant and different career paths! Some have kindly told me I have a checker-board past and I do. So, I have to ask: there's another career to unfold?

What I am enjoying about this book is the way the author has the reader make lists and not only of our positive traits and talents. He also has us list our weaknesses and faults because he says within those are sometimes our greatest talents!

Besides wanting to be a nun from a young age and accomplishing that by the age of 15, I was also a musician from the age of four and this was the first way I navigated earning money when I left the convent. No, I wasn't the singing nun! I was the piano-playing ex-nun. I find myself wondering if music will be involved in this new addition to my purpose?

Maybe it will have something to do with learning to play my autoharp better or learn to play my Native American flute? Or maybe it will have something to do with animals? Or???

I know I won't stop writing or publishing or mentoring or teaching - and maybe what the astrologers are referring to has nothing to do with my work life? I'm staying tuned since this is quite an exciting journey! I'll let you know more as I learn more!

When in doubt, crochet!

For some reason I don't understand, I haven't crocheted in over five days. No wonder my hands and fingers have been twitching. Sometimes it is easy to get so absorbed in living our lives that we forget to do the things that bring us joy, things that have no intrinsic value other than making us happy.

For some people this is singing, for others it is drawing, writing, painting, sewing, knitting - or like me - crochet. There's something about feeling the yarn and the hook in my hands and watching how the yarn becomes a hat or scarf or shawl. It feels very magical.

Life can be like this. We take the everyday happenings of life and using our skills of attention, intention, love, hope, and compassion transform them into something that can feel magical. Here I go with a new skein ready to start the transformation - let's see what it becomes!

Instructions aren't always clear

Last night, we were trying to operate a coffee maker that belongs to someone else. There was no instruction booklet and there wasn't anywhere that said on or off. There were buttons to set the timer, to clean the coffee pot, to make a small pot, to set the clock, one said auto set, and one that said brew/off.

After several minutes of head scratching and frustration, Rhonda grabbed the iPad and within minutes found the coffeemaker online. She also found the instruction book. After explaining all the fancy things the coffee pot could do, it then showed a picture with an arrow that said, "To start coffeemaker." It was the Brew/Off button! Had it said On/Off we would have understood.

Lessons?
Instructions aren't always clear.
Sometimes you have to  work a little harder to figure things out.
If you're the one writing instructions, doublecheck with others that people will understand what you're saying.
Don't beat yourself up if you don't understand something the first time. You might not be the problem.
When in doubt, go to the internet.
Always, always check out the new coffee pot the night before you plan to use it!

I had a melt down today.

One of the reason I started this blog is so I can share my process as I walk through healing my physical issues. Too often we see people we admire or teachers or authors and we don't realize what they went through to get where they are today. When my autobiography Anything Is Possible came out, people were shocked at some of the things I have experienced in my life. I guess they thought I was born a spiritual teacher. It's important for us to know everyone goes through their trials and tribulations, not just us!

Anyway, something very real and gritty happened to me out of the blue this morning. Suddenly it hit me how much things have changed for me since my fall in 2011 gifted me with mobility issues - and now going through healing my heart issues. It hit me how I have to rely on others for help in some areas of my life and there are simply things I don't do any more.

I sobbed. I don't think I have cried that hard in a long time. Rhonda was there and comforted me as best she could, but that didn't change the realities of my life. Will things get better? I don't know. Will they get worse? I don't know.

What I have to do is accept where I'm at, go ahead and cry and grieve the losses, and then do the best I can. That's all any of us can ever do. I am so happy I can still work although I do plan to take a little more time off than I have been doing.

Hopefully, some great talks and articles will come out of this and, who knows, maybe there will be a sequel to Anything is Possible - we'll call it The Next Part of the Story.

Being free on the fourth of July

Not everyone uses their Twitter account to stir up trouble! This morning on Twitter the great spiritual teacher Ram Dass wrote about a recent experience he had. As you might know, Ram Dass had a stroke in the 1990's and has made an amazing comeback even though he still has many health challenges.

He writes about having to seek medical care recently. He said he was in pain and had to endure several procedures. He is not specific and the details aren't important. What is important is his sharing that the way he navigated this experience was to stay as much in touch with his inner being as he could. He felt the pain. He experienced what was going on. But he didn't let any of that take away from being in touch with his deeper soul-self.

He is talking about the ultimate in freedom. Today we in the United States celebrate freedom. As individuals, we can declare our freedom. We can be free from suffering by entering the witness consciousness where we're totally aware of what's happening in our lives, totally living our lives, but from the long-term viewpoint of the soul rather than the short-term view of the personality.

Sometimes people ask me how to contact their soul-selves and the answer is always some form of meditation. It is by taking our focus off the outer world and placing it on our inner world that we can make this contact. Learning to live from that place changes everything. I don't know anyone who can do it all the time but I do know many people who do their best to live this way and know what a difference it makes in the quality of their lives.

So, with all the hoopla going on in today's world, just remember the true goal of life - live from your center where you can experience true freedom.

They used to complain about the food....now I understand.

When I was manager of a retirement/assisted living/dementia care facility, one of the biggest challenges we had was providing high quality meals that the residents would enjoy. As you can imagine, the various dietary needs were multiple not to mention the indivual tastes of over 125 people! The number one complaint on any given day would center around the food and it was an area we spent a lot of time and effort on getting right.

One of the things I learned and tried to get the family and residents to understand, was that various medications change a person's taste buds. Although it could be true that our recipe for chicken soup wasn't as good as theirs, it was also true that the flavors they were experiencing were not the same as those of other people who were on different medications. Until they trusted me, new residents thought I was making excuses for the chef and cooks!

Since being on medications this last little while, I am getting to experience that food doesn't taste the same as it once did. Flavors aren't as bright or bold and food I used to enjoy I can now take or leave. This isn't a bad thing necessarily; it's just very strange. I share this for those of you who have a loved one in assisted living or some other type of care facility or who cook for a loved one who's taking medications.

If your family member is in a facility and complains about the food, check it out yourself by having a few meals with them. Realize the food might be just fine - it could be your family member's ability to taste and enjoy food has changed. Same thing with your own cooking. Play around with different herbs and spices to discover some new ways to help them enjoy their meals as much as possible.

And remember: this is a changing world. Nothing stays the same for long. Happiness comes from riding the surf board over whatever waves show up - not demanding different waves!