One of the reason I started this blog is so I can share my process as I walk through healing my physical issues. Too often we see people we admire or teachers or authors and we don't realize what they went through to get where they are today. When my autobiography Anything Is Possible came out, people were shocked at some of the things I have experienced in my life. I guess they thought I was born a spiritual teacher. It's important for us to know everyone goes through their trials and tribulations, not just us!
Anyway, something very real and gritty happened to me out of the blue this morning. Suddenly it hit me how much things have changed for me since my fall in 2011 gifted me with mobility issues - and now going through healing my heart issues. It hit me how I have to rely on others for help in some areas of my life and there are simply things I don't do any more.
I sobbed. I don't think I have cried that hard in a long time. Rhonda was there and comforted me as best she could, but that didn't change the realities of my life. Will things get better? I don't know. Will they get worse? I don't know.
What I have to do is accept where I'm at, go ahead and cry and grieve the losses, and then do the best I can. That's all any of us can ever do. I am so happy I can still work although I do plan to take a little more time off than I have been doing.
Hopefully, some great talks and articles will come out of this and, who knows, maybe there will be a sequel to Anything is Possible - we'll call it The Next Part of the Story.
Sending love and strength, Krysta.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Suzan......
DeleteAhhh...blessed humanity. Thanks being courage and sharing your story, Krysta. It touches us all with reminders of our vulnerability and interdependence, and links us together in our humanness. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteIndeed: blessed humanity in all its robes and colors! Truly we are linked by it!
DeleteYour joyful, indomitable, hopeful spirit will bounce back!
ReplyDeleteIndeed it will and is.....I can, I will, I must!
DeleteI so understand, and I so appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. Thank you, Krysta, for being more and more real about your process in the face of all odds.
ReplyDeleteI know you know, Cat! Thanks for the words of support.
DeleteKrysta: I wrote the following a few years ago when life was exceptionally crazy (which seems to have become the norm).
ReplyDeleteLive est un oignon et un peeling en pleurant. Proverbe français
Life is an onion and one peels it crying.” French Proverb
This proverb jumped out at me again today. My onion is definitely peeling! When I am sad, I cry. When I am mad, I cry. When I am lonely, I sometimes cry. When I sense someone else’s dis-ease, I cry. When I am really happy about something, I cry. When I find something really funny, I laugh til I am crying. And sometimes…I don’t know why…but I just cry. It is a good thing that I am living by myself these days, because my onion is definitely peeling.
I used to be so stoic. I did not want to waste time crying. I just did something to get over the sensation and moved away from it. I kept myself busy. I believed that it made me strong. It took a lot to get me to cry…and heaven forbid if someone happened to see me cry! I realize now that I was stuffing a lot inside of me. My onion was growing, and the outer peels got pretty tough.
It took a long time and a lot of self-study to feel OK with shedding a tear or two…or two thousand. I decided that if three-quarters of the world is water, and two-thirds of the human body is water, it is just fine to let go of a bit of mine. A total release occurs: physical, emotional, spiritual. It might not change a situation, but something about my perception of the situation changes. It just makes me feel different. Sometimes that different may only be exhausted and re-eyed, but that’s OK. It leads to a good sleep, and things always seem brighter after a good sleep.
Of course, I still prefer to do my crying alone (or as the old song says “in the rain”) so no one can see. Most of the time I choose an appropriate time and place for it. But I have stopped stuffing it down and keeping it deep and tight inside. Crying is a necessity: a natural part of our development in this life.
I am sure that this time of crying a lot will pass, as I move forward on my path. I also am sure that there will be more times of tears. I am OK with that, and accept it in others. And if the urge to cry is there and the tears just don’t come…I will just peel some onions.
©Linda Zeppa
Thanks for sharing this, linda. Lots of great truth here. And I agree that a good cry goes a long way to clearing the energy. It did my soul good.
DeleteDearest krysta, you have given hope and life to peoples dreams and aspirations. You helped to create form that would create substance in there Co-creations and expressions of who they are.
ReplyDeleteJust as your lovely gift and role in peoples lives has been profound and changing over time it is clearly still changing and still present.
Your authentic sharing your experience continues to be helpful, continues to open up the heart and widen our views of you and of life.
We are all here doing a beautiful karmic dance that is ever evolving and changing. Thank you for your courage in embracing and facing your new challenges. Know that in my heart I will hold you in your journey tenderly as you surrender to each new day with gratitude and hope knowing that the universe of love and beautiful humans whose lives you have touched in myriad ways are there to love you and support you. Thank you for the precious gift of you in this embodiment.
May mercy, grace and ease surround you and your days and the moments in your days.
Know you are loved and appreciated.
God bless you. Ingrid Rajith Skysong.
Thanks so much for all your lovely words, Ingrid. Salve for the soul and much appreciated!
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