I miss playing the pipe organ

This morning I was listening to Bach’s Toccata in D and realized I used to play that piece. When I was in college as a piano pedagogy student, the pipe organ was my second instrument followed by voice (singing) as my third.

The piano was my first passion but I truly loved playing the pipe organ the college had in their big auditorium. It had three keyboards for one’s hands, many stops that changed the sound of the organ, and two keyboards for the feet. Playing it was very challenging and I practiced the organ four hours a day. I had been given a key to the auditorium so I could practice in the early morning hours without having to ask anyone to let me in. I was by myself and the only light was that put off by the lamp that lit the keyboard.

I remember sitting there for hours at a time, coaxing beautiful and magnificent tones out of the pipes that surrounded the stage. The power of making that instrument play loud or soft, massive or delicate was an amazing experience. And as I was remember this, I realize I will never do that again. I will never be that agile on a keyboard because I don’t practice eight hours a day (four on the organ and four on the piano) like I did then. Nor do I want to.

I realize that everyone, whether they are six or 96 years old, has things they will never do again. Do we sometimes hold ourselves back by wishing we could do things that brought us joy in the past? Would we be better off to acknowledge the joy we had and then look to the present to find what brings us joy now?

Memories can be great entertainers, especially if we modify them to remember mostly the good and not the bad. For instance, I remember the joy of playing the pipe organ and forget the hours of tedious repetition of the same notes and passages that I had to play over and over again so that when I performed the piece all anyone heard was the final perfect rendition of the piece. Selective memory can be a blessing.

So I set about today creating memories for my future self to look back upon with joy and satisfaction, knowing I will never return to this space in time again nor would I want to. What memories are you creating today? Are they worthy of you and will you be glad you created them?