We can't go back

Thanks to everyone for your supportive responses to yesterday's post. I had a very good visit with the cardiologist yesterday. I had written out all my concerns and gave her a copy to look at while I went through the points I wanted to make. She felt badly that I wasn't doing so well and changed some of my medications which we both hope will help (from the allopathic point of view!). We also discovered there had been some misunderstandings between us as to the goals for my treatment. Let's see how the next week goes.

In yesterday's mail, I got a review book in that won't be published until October 10 this year. But I'm going to mention it anyway. It is called Ageless Soul by Thomas Moore. Along with Ram Dass, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra (and me), Thomas Moore is experiencing the aging process and shares some of his views about how we can live with joy and purpose at any age.

One of the things he says is if we fight aging (and he sees that as different from getting old), "...and complain about its downside, you may be miserable for the rest of your life, because aging is one thing that doesn't get better. If you can be with it now then you will be equally at peace when you're five years older. If you can just be with what is, you have a good starting point and a base. Then you can do other things to improve your situation. Don't get lost longing for a past golden age, and don't yearn for a different future.....aging is an activity. It is something you do, not something that happens."

This reminded me of something Roman Karzniak said in my Keeping It Real interview a few weeks ago (www.newspiritjournal.com). He said we need to acknowledge all the little deaths that happen in our lives. He said that when a person turns 30, their 20's have died and will never be back. Our culture doesn't support our seeing things this way.

Where all of this took me today is here. My life has changed. In some subtle ways, I have been seeing myself returning to what my life was before I had this heart condition and my back condition from a few years ago. That isn't going to happen.

This doesn't mean I won't get better. It doesn't mean my life is anywhere near over. It only means things have changed and the best way for me to incorporate those changes is to embrace all the learning from my past and take it with me as I move firmly into the present and future. And this can mean my life is going to be even better than it was before - it all depends on how I live and process what is currently on my plate. Bon appetit to me!