I told myself today is the day

When I got up awhile ago and looked outside, I saw it is going to be a gorgeous day in the Pacific Northwest. You know, it's going to be one of those days we don't tell out-of-towners about because we don't want more people knowing it doesn't rain here all the time!

Almost right away, I started feeling sorry for myself. I was remembering the days when I didn't have shortness of breath, my heart worked fine, and I was able to go on eight-mile hikes. I'm doing all the things the doctors tell me to do. I am working with healers. I have tons of people praying for me and most days are the same - no major improvement. Yes, there are days better than others but I haven't had the magical, sudden, healing anyone like me wants to have.

Before I slid into despair, I caught myself and said: "Today is the day I am going to make major improvement." I told my body to get with the program, that I had many things I still want and need to do and in order to do them, I need my health back.

Then I did a thing we should never do. I played the what if game. What if I never get better? What if this is my new normal? What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put Krysta back together again? Have you ever felt that way? It's a terrible way to feel and a terrible game to play.

I turned it around, of course. What if I do get better - and soon? What if all of this is just more fodder for my life and writing? What if going through this allows me to be more compassionate with others and more helpful to people going through tough times? That's the what if game I want to play!

Tomorrow, I'm recording a Keeping It Real TV program with Roman Krznaric who lives in England. He wrote a new book called "Carpe Diem - Seizing the Day in a Distracted World." Part of today will be spending time with his book. It's really good and I think just what the doctor ordered for me - in one place Roman talks about plucking the day rather than seizing it. I like the gentleness of that! I'm going to seize my day gently and see what happens!