Ouch!!

The other day I received a totally unexpected email from someone who had looked at my new book listing on Amazon for The Book of Hope. It came out in paperback a month or so ago and we just got it up on Amazon as a Kindle book. The email was critical of some of my editing in the book, the lack of testimonials in the front of the book, and the fact that the two formats were not yet linked at Amazon. Oh, and that I haven't yet created my author's central page.

When I was through reading the email, I said to myself, "Ouch. That hurt." Unsolicited criticism is one of the worst things to receive. When you ask for someone to review your work and give feedback, you're expecting to hear about the good and the bad. Emotionally, you're ready for it. When it comes unsolicited, you don't have time to protect yourself.

And, yes, I know, in some way I attracted this to myself or it woldn't have happened. There's some sort of mirror here. However, as my first metaphysical teacher used to say, "Everyone gets the results of what they send out, just be sure you're not the one wielding the knife."

I've heard doctors say they bury their mistakes. I always say we writers and publishers publish ours for the world to see. This isn't true of all types of work. For instance, let's say you're a massage therapist. The quality of your work is pretty much seen only by the recipients of your massages and anyone they care to share the experience with. What if the results of your massages were written up and published for everyone to see? That could be positive or not depending on how others view your massage techniques.

I guess what I'm trying to say is be kind to those of us whose work is in the public eye. We're doing the best we can and it isn't perfect. A friend of mine has a saying she uses to keep herself from being perfectionist in her work: Good enough is good enough. This doesn't keep her from striving to improve what she does. It does keep her from beating herself up when her work isn't perfect by some sort of standard she might not even accept.

Yes, I will be less critical of myself so those mirrors can go away. In the meantime, check yourself before offering unsolicited criticism of someone's efforts. Did the person ask for your critique? Are they in a position to be receptive to your opinions? Are you an expert in what you're criticizing? Do you really want to hurt their feelings? I don't think so. Maybe there is wisdom in keeping your opinions private unless you're asked to share them?